Hi! Female pronouns please (she/her/hers). Feel free to message me with anything :) I'm here to help no matter what!
TRIGGER WARNING: I no longer post pictures of graphic self-harm but I used to, so if that is triggering to you then please either get off my blog or don't scroll far back. Definitely stay off my personal tag!
[P.S. Please tell me if any of my links aren't working~]
So, last night, I was getting ready to go out with my boyfriend to a dance at my school (which was cancelled due to lack of ticket sales) and, I had a nice black vest and a nice white shirt, and my uncle had just came home the other day from the mine (my uncle is homophobic and he has abused me many times throughout my child hood) and when I had came out of my room to show my memere how nice I looked, my uncle was in the room that i thought my grandma/memere would be in (she was downstairs doing laundry), and he asked me why I wasnt wearing a dress. my memere and dad both know that I am transgendered and they respect that, however, my uncle does not, and he did not know. so I decided to sit down and tell him the truth. he listened carefully and quietlly through all of it, but at the end of my explanation he had said, “I didn’t raise you to be fucked up.” I agreed, I am a huge mess, I have been for years, but my sexuality and gender identity is not a fuck up, so I argued with him. he got to a point where, after so many months of piece, he slapped me. and threw me to the ground and kicked me in the stomach, of course I had puked, and it hurt, a lot. he grabbed me by the shirt and asked me, “are you a girl”, I said no, my sex is female, but my gender is male..and he dragged me to his room. he once had a big dog, and he made that dog wear an eletrical dog collar, and weve always kept it in his room, because we dont need it (my uncle killed the dog), he threw me onto the bed and said,” ill ask you one more time, are you a girl” I said no. held grabbed my wrist, and held onto it tightly, I have a bruise from how tight he was grabbing it, and he pulled out the dog collar, threw me back onto the bed, sat on me, and put the collar on me… then he began yelling, are you a girl, you are a girl, are you a girl, you are a girl, and my response of course was no, no, no, I am male, I am male. whenever I said that, he would shock me, and it was /hell/. I was screaming, which only caused the shocks to get worse and worse, and then he said, “do you want to find out how faggots have sex!?” of course I already know this, but still I said no no no no stop stop stop. my memere had finally heard me and came rushing to the bedroom, and tried to make my uncle stop, but he pushed her down, and thanked god she was okay.. since shes very fragile and all. she then ran back to the stairs to call up my dad, and oh boy did he run. he ran up stairs and shoved my uncle away from me and started fighting with him, yelling, punching, kicking, and such so on. my memere got the collar off of me and brought me into her room, and after my dad and uncle were done fighting, my uncle had grabbed the things he needed and left, shouting a few insults at us. we called the police today, but they cant find him. we dont have money for a lawyer, all we have is a counsellor, im not going to ask for money, all I ask for is support. I dont know what this will do, but please spread this around, this has affected me and family members greatly. I was taken to a hospital today to check if there was any damage on my insides that we dont know of and thankfully there was no damage, just scarring, emotionally and physically. i had a horrifying nightmare relating to this as well. If you have abused somebody, raped somebody, insulted somebody, in any way possible, I hope this can somehow change your way of heart, and realize how much this can horrify a person, and ruin their lives. it made my life 97x worse than it already is.
1. Lay on the floor of your shower until you can breathe again. Water will always love to love your skin.
2. Start writing with the intention of filling up one page. Write until your pen stops working.
3. Reread a book that once made you cry. Learn something new on every page. Notice how different chapter make you sad. Notice how the book didn’t change and grow; you did.
4. Sleep with your windows open. You can hear both the rain and boys drunkenly singing Frank Sinatra on their deck. Both are equally good.
5. Don’t forget that honey will always taste sweet, but the best way to eat it is off your fingers, laughing.
6. Remember that, sometimes, getting out of bed is enough.
For unhappy girls who like sitting in the sun (h.f.j.)
I don’t want this post to die. I want this post to continue to go around even when tumblr turns into myspace. Even then, I want this post cycling because it is that important.
